Do you have days where you feel like a rock star? And then, the next day, something happens and you feel like your confidence has fallen to the bottom of the barrel? It happens. I call that “the confidence barometer.” Just like the weather, confidence levels can go up and down. Confidence is not linear. It may take a dip for a number of reasons. It’s called “being human.” There’s an ebb and flow to confidence and even if one achieves some level of confidence, it doesn’t mean that you are immune to doubts or fears. 

In my book, Dare to Own You: Taking Your Authenticity and Dreams into your Next Chapter, there’s an entire chapter dedicated to “The Courage of Confidence.” It offers several methods of how to cultivate confidence such as setting and achieving small goals, learning and practicing new skills, surrounding oneself with supportive people, focusing on one’s strengths and past successes and challenging the negative self-talk. What you tell yourself is incredibly important! It’s why I came up with a game I call my “Confidence ABC’s.” I use it, and I share it with clients too. I start at the beginning of the alphabet and think of a word, or several words, for each letter that resonates with some form of confidence and how I want to feel about myself. For example: A- I am Authentic, I am Athletic, I am Articulate. B- I am Bold, I am Brave. C- I am Creative, and yes, I am Confident! Saying “I AM” is very important, as is the feeling you create within yourself when you practice this game outloud. 

Confidence is important for everyone, regardless of gender. I also believe cultivating confidence is a personal journey, a state of mind and can be learned. When we are able to acknowledge and work through the confidence barometer dips, it can help us set us up to achieve our goals, communicate effectively, and navigate challenging situations with more resilience.

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